you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
