Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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