R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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