it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
