Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
