D3 body, D1 cock
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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