just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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