I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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