The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just invented taco cereal.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
