My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
