You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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