"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
