who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I intend to get homeless drunk
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
