How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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