yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
