so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
