i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
