I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
