he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
