My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
