Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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