if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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