and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I made him laugh his dick is mine
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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