the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize