his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
