I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
