seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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