Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
she told me i tasted like america
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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