Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
