I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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