I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
