it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
