they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
