so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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