maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
