Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
