We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
