my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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