Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
what day is it and did you see me today?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
