Ambien. No doubt about it.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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