I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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