billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
