I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
