Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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