i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
