i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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