So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
