I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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