Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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