we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
