There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
