READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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