wat bout pragnant strippers??
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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